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Dear Ezra, I Love You

Today is always a tough day for me. It is the due date we were given with our first  pregnancy. I was only five weeks along when we miscarried, but I knew in my heart the second we found out we were pregnant that we were having a boy. When I was going through the healing, a pastor that was helping  me through encouraged me to name him. Darin and I came together and chose the name Ezra.

Ezra is on my heart and mind daily. I never held him, but BOY did I LOVE HIM! He has been such an integral part of my purpose and God’s plan for my life. If I could hold his little hand and tell him thank you today, I would. He changed and continues to change my life.

This week, I released a LOT of things in my life. I realized a few weeks ago that I wasn’t living the mature and responsible life that I always hoped I would as a mother. There have been a lot of areas in my life that have continued this very immature and childish way of living. As I sat down this week, I began to think about ways I would want my life to be had we had Ezra as a three-year-old.

For one, I would hope we would have been in a forever home that was ours and a place for him to grow up in. Two, we would want to be debt free so that we could make sure we had money for college and all of the things he needed as he grew up. Three, that I would be emotionally healthy and stable – that I would handle disappointments and failures a little bit better than what I have. So, I wrote these three things down and I wrote out all the changes that needed to happen in order to give Ezra the good home he deserved and I released the mindset that was keeping me from having that stable and beautiful home for him.

Dear Ezra, I love you. Since the day I lost you, you have continued to grow and challenge me. The very thought of you inspires me to want to be a better wife, future mother and overall better human. Our home is getting in order and I have you to thank. You teach me in ways I can’t even explain. You aren’t here on earth to see your Dad and I make a better life for you, but I hope you are looking down at us and proud of your mama and papa. Everything we do is for you and your siblings! We love you baby boy!

Love Always,

Mama C

Bible Break - Genesis 18:1-19:29

Bible Break With Devoted Women

In Genesis 18, the Lord makes a promise to Abraham that he and his wife, Sarah, would have a son and went on to promise that his children would become a great powerful nation and that all nations on earth would be blessed through them (Genesis 18:18).

This same night He told Abraham that He planned to destroy Sodom and Gomorah for their many sins. Abraham pleaded with God for Sodom in order to save Lot’s life. God completely punished the city but rescued Lot by sending two angels to escort him away.

“The consequence of sin is not a bad day or a bad mood but a dead soul. The sign of a dead soul is clear: poisoned lips and cursing mouths, feet that lead to violence and eyes that don’t see God.” Max Lucado

Let this story from our Bible be an encouraging lesson for us to be the light in the dark corner and to be the one who will stand up for righteousness.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lamp-stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. ‘Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

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God's Wisdom Supersedes All Human Wisdom

Lately I have really had to put my faith out there. I have had so many ups and downs over the last few months, that emotions have left me at a loss.I have made some pretty drastic moves in life, literally, moves. Darin and I moved cross country from Texas to Washington. We made the leap of faith and obeyed Him. 

In all of life's ups and downs over the last year, I have held strong to His wisdom. I can't see what He can. Only He knows why He has allowed things to happen in life. He is such a great God! I don't always understand the whys or the hows and I don't know why certain things happen but I know He is a God of comfort and peace. 

I have asked myself over the past few days why there is such evil in the world. Why would God allow such evilness but then I remember that we live in Satan's play ground. My heart aches for people hurting in the world. I don't know why things are allowed to happen but I do know that we have to trust Him. We have to take tragedies and allow them to change our hearts. Take the time to cherish our loved ones and for parents to step up and love your children. We have to understand that there is evil in this world and we have choices. 

"A hot furnace tests silver and gold, but the Lord tests hearts." Proverbs 17:3

God was taken out of most of our schools years ago. Why? It amazes me that people do not see how this world is falling into Satan's hands more and more and that if we don't get a grip and allow Him back into our schools, jobs, lives.....then it will only get worse! How can we expect Him to protect us and protect our children if we are not allowing Him to? God is a gentleman and He will not force Himself on us. We must ask Him to come in. 

Trust Him today. Trust Him to guide you, help you with those changes you should make, lead you to where HE wants you to be, trust Him to help you forgive somebody today, trust Him to ask somebody for forgiveness today, or trust Him to just simply be there to comfort you. We can't do these things on our own. It is impossible. I have tried. It doesn't work that way.  We need Him. 

We need to trust Him.